cheri

My World is Oz. =')

19:05:00

Today's chatting, after discussion:
Me: 
I'm fat and I'm ugly.I'm not smart and full of stupidity. what part of this piece buggy bag called Vinka which made you still miss me?

Him:
all of yours. your fat etc. aku cinta keseluruhannya tanpa kata kecuali. sebab, daya apa yang membuatku berani menantang Tuhan tatkala ia limpahkan suatu rizki. tidak untuk diingkari, lebih2 harus dipeluk-syukuri.

=')
Cheri, you are Oz.
Mwah!

lesson

Goodbye is (Never) Easy

09:00:00


Let's say, it's habitual. I used to do it regularly, daily and it becomes a part of my life. Now, let's change the word "it" with "love you". Then the sentence will be a very romantic one. How about change the word into "hate you". Then it becomes a cruel one.

Saying goodbye is easy, but how you do the implementation is another thing. Yesterday I declared on giving up and letting go into someone which haunted me for these last 3 years. The ghost. Even the ghost haunted me in a negative way, but I admit that I'm addicted too. I used to scare it, hate it, and when I start to let go, there is a place which vaguely, start feeling lonely. 

Quoting my workmate, mbak Fidya, I won't try to forget it hardly, but I'll try to be usual for not remembering it. 

Take care there, ghost. I believe you'll miss me too. 
Yesterday I buried you deeply.  
This morning, I sprinkle flowers on the grave with a smile.
Bon continuation, phantome.

lesson

Focus!

23:28:00


This picture is ambiguous. It doesn't clear, which one was the focus and the meaning. I know it could be about the technical problem, the camera quality, etc. But I thought the main problem is me, a man behind the gun (or the camera in this case). 


I actually want to take an awkward situation, when I had a breakfast at Food Hall, Setiabudi One. I came so early then the cleaner still wiped the window when my dish arrived. That's it. But I failed to tell it in a picture. I neglected the angle and several things including the focus of the picture. 

I feel the same when I look at my life. I lost my focus for last several times. I forgot how to live this life in my way. I should start to back on the beat, to back on the heat of adventurous life. It's different situation, I know. But now, I've enlightened. I do know where I should put my first step. I'll make a list, as usual, and do it step by step. Peu a peu. I'm sure I could do this better this time, because I have a gentle hand from a gentle man to hold me stand still in anytime.
 =)   

First thing first, let's start in focusing my sister's wedding on this weekend.
Fighting!

life

Break a Leg

09:33:00

Whoah, I felt that it's been ages I haven't written here (exaggeration, fellas. It's actually 9 days, though. =P). For doing so "after the journey" took a lot of my time. You know, to make a report to office, include the fund, yada yada, et cetera, et cetera. 


May were being a month of wed. After Mpok Devi Handa, 
from left: Mita, Uwi, me, mpok Devi, Nia, Manda
then my companion & neighbour from elementary school, junior till college: Ustika Rizky, and next week: MY SISTER! Aw aw aw....
And today, I still trying to finish my jarik skirt by myself. I hate for spending money on the things that I could do it by myself.  I'll sew it by hand. I hope it will be great *crossedmyfinger*
>,<

Now, let's start it! Break a leg Von...
accompanied by last Kanye West' single:

PS: Yes, this post was created to raise my own spirit. hehehe.

life

Laundry Time!

00:18:00

After doing a long journey, there's always a home. A place where you realize, this is a real world with a real problem to be faced. But don't worry, you've already got a credit and saving for your life, from your journey off course. You have new energy. You are full-charged, mindfully. 

So, first thing first baby. 
Let's tidying up our life, start from the "robes" we brought in the journey.
It's laundry time!
=D

PS: the picture below is the sneak-peek for my journey stories. Watch out!

yes, it's Monas and 2 girls in abaya. =P

cheri

My Favorite Boy

06:56:00

"My prize possession, one and only

Adore you, boy I want you
The one I can't live without
That's you, that's you."
-Favorite Girl, Justin Bieber

quote

Pounding Head.

02:10:00

"A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory."
-- Arthur Golden

=(
Yea, I know it. I know it very well. But it's hard to do. Very, very hard.

family

Happy Maulid, Bopo. =*

00:04:00

Last Saturday, I went home in a rush. I really want to be there, in Mojosari. I want to give a presence in my bopo special day, his birthday. =) He is 60 years old now. 
Yes, he's old. A kind of awareness that he planted as I had to be ready, when he should left this world. I always hate when he used the term, "you are my last child, which I just have the shortest time to accompany you. You should be ready for any chance. Just believe in one thing, I love you." 
T_T


Time after time, I know better, that you love me that much. You don't want me to lose. You don't want me to be  hurt. At this point, I will try harder to show you that I'm going to be a good woman. I'm on my way for being a mature and responsible human. Maybe I will fall Bop, but don't worry, you've already show me how to stand still and face the world bravely. Maybe I will cry, it's okay, as you said, because the tears fallen nourished my power to think clearly and finished my problem as it should be. 

Thank you for being my strong guardian, my discuss partner, my tough debater, my warmest hugger, my wisdom source, my pride. 
Thank you for being the greatest father in the world. Thanks for being you.
I love you, as always, and always will be Bop.
=* =* =*
Most favorite photo with Bopo. In early morning. =*

Stop Commenting. Have A Life, Please?

10:09:00

Manusia mungkin tidak punya kapasitas untuk mengampuni
(mungkin hanya Tuhan yg bisa mengampuni), 
maka yang bisa kita lakukan adalah berdamai.
Berdamai dengan sisi gelap yang tak bisa kita kuasai.
Demikian pula.
Mereka mungkin tak punya kemampuan untuk menghapus cinta dan birahi.
Mereka hanya bisa mencoba berdamai dengan perasaan itu dalam diri masing-masing.
Semoga kelak birahi sublim dalam narasi.
Seperti semula.
(Manjali & Cakrabirawa, Ayu Utami)



*I'm waiting the next book of Ayu Utami. Her Bilangan Fu, Manjali & Cakrabirawa stole my thought. I re-read the book last night. And can't help for not quoting. When will the next book published? =(