A full month without any post. Pfiuh. Everything happened for reason, of course. It is not a simply procrastinating me, I assure you. I've been thinking over and over, until this point when I conclude and trying to wrap it all, try to write an explanation to myself. And you, dearest fellas.
Last month, several things happened. I met great people, learned many things new, got a new project, attended interesting events, tasted odd foods, portrayed beautiful pictures, been on every occasion who I could tell you here in a long and happily post. But I didn't.
Why?
I read an article in Gogirl! Magazine, March edition. The big theme of the edition was Save Our Society. The magazine thought there are phenomena where the youngsters could take a part for the merrier future. Within the articles, one is "The Grey Area". They discuss several things which will be taboo if we used religion perspective, but the fact shows that it happened a lot in our daily life. It's a part of the article entitled "materialistic". This part mentioned how nowadays technology could make us easily shifted into a subtle "materialistic" person because of our habitual sharing activities in social media. We take it easily to capture our newest dazzling pair of shoes, glamour restaurant we visited, envious long holiday, how far the distance we traveled from one airport to others, until our trendiest gadget is tagged in every sharing. This article somehow stabbed me right to the heart.
I did it all, I admitted. I have many account of social media where I could share everything I mentioned above. I blogged, I uploaded, I tagged, I checked in, I twitted, I pinned, I did all of it. It's sad in a way, when I think and re-think about it. And in the middle of thinking process, I read my friends status about how the social media could put a stamp on your face as: "Showing off people a.k.a Ostentatious". I usually being cynic to people who do "humble-brag" or do "covered-boast". I can't imagine how if another people thought me so. Because of these, I have a thought about not writing anymore in blog, related to any experience who could be wronged as "intended show-off". My belief taught me, when you could not decided it is right or no, just don't do that. So then, I choose to keep many experiences just for myself. I just could tell it to friends or people in a direct meet up, so they could judge easily how I sincerely share the story.
Well, the situation didn't stop here, anyway. Choosing for not writing just plugged my entire brain-process. It's not helping. I don't feel happy too for holding my thought into another form of contemplating: writing in diary, for example. Now I try to pull myself together, try to ask myself, what's my intention in doing all of these.
I believe there is a different between show & share. Share is the intention, show is the way. Showing could be the way for other goals too: boasting/flaunting/show-off. Yes, it's difficult to differentiate, because intention is related to willingness.
Does s/he has a good will or no? Hard to prove.
Do people who see it realize and perceive as the one who show? Hard to know, it's inside every people own mind.
Here I am, sitting on the floor of my living room, writing my own explanation while the dusk comes. I'm trying to not weigh myself too much by bothered into my "show-off-judged" fear. I just promised to myself for double checking by trying respect another people opinion of my posting/uploading/pin/twit. Innamal a'malu bin niat. Verily, each of deeds depend on its intention.
"Finally, I can see you crystal clear, dear trouble.."
