16.01.2015 9.35pm
Apalah yang bisa kuceritakan
Dari tatap mata bulatmu
Aku hanya ingin tenggelam di dalamnya
Seperti gerimis yang lesap perlahan
di sela tanah, sore tadi.
Apalah yang bisa kubanggakan
Di depan senyum bibir mungilmu
Aku hanya bisa takluk karenanya
Seperti Amer pada Agra
atau Jalal pada Jodha.
Engkaulah guru, karib, yang selalu jadi bagianku.
Engkaulah doa, harapan, cinta yang utuh tanpa catu.
Engkau adalah kami, tapi juga dirimu sendiri.
Engkau, ya, engkau Hayu.
Jogja, 14 April 2013
Dear kids,
How are you? I'm sure you'll be great as always. I'm sure that you've grown up as a wonderful sun this morning: bright, but not burning; healthy and not overwhelming. How's your Dad? I'm sure he's as handsome as the day he became my groom. Not too skinny, not too chubby. Just fit, as he always is to me. I miss him anyway, today he left me. No, he's not angry, he's just find a place with a roof for us. Yes, a warmer place to ensure that all of us safe and sound. I hope he's lucky enough for not bothering uncle Asikin too long. I feel too sorry for him. Don't forget to give him a respectful greeting whenever you meet, kiddo. He's helped your parents a lot. Okay?
How's life anyway? Have you still being picky to the food? Or is there any lesson which weighed you down? Don't imitate your father for being picky, and don't followed for being too worried too much in everything, just like me. Life never cushion your blow voluntarily, you choose and made it yourself. Be brave and start wander a bit, you'll find many great things ahead. Just a bit, and remember to come home regularly. Don't ask why, silly kid. For sure, it's me waiting for you. To hug you and listening your dream. To share you how grateful I am, because you dare to step in a dignified way.
Just thinking about all of you already made me happy. I'm not sure is it your charming aura or just the melancholy mist around me. I'm really sorry anyway, I intend to write this letter because I have a glimpse in my head of leaving you before your Dad. I'm sorry, really sorry. You can ask him why do I have a thought like that, I don't want ruin this letter by explaining. At least, I try to grasp my gut on my fingers, typing a letter to you. The worst farewell is the one without saying goodbye, isn't it?
I believe, when you reading this, it's a little bit sad in a way. Just don't.
I trust you by my entire life. I put all my gold on the table, after you my dearest babies. I could mention hundreds reason for that, but I choose for not to. It's just me, simply your mother. No other reason needed.
Sometimes people say parents' love is exaggerated, a blind love. Well, Uti & Akung grew me up not like that, tho. They quite sincerely logical in loving me. Somehow, it helps me a lot in facing the world. I can't conclude yet, how is my way. In any way, I will love as much as I can. I would love you, as the best way as I could. I love you, as always.
Live well, my dearest kids.
Thousand kisses,
your Mom
P.S.: Uti always ask me nowadays, when will you arrive in her hug. Don't worry dear, I know you've already prepared a perfect timing. Not too late, not too soon. Right? =*
